A New Phase of Mother's Day

As your kids get older, Mother's Day celebrations change. Gone are the days of being awakened way too early by ragamuffins with matted hair and sweet morning breath who brandish a tray of overcooked eggs, garden flowers, handmade cards, and then snuggles in bed. They are older now and are busy with life, and college exams, and sleeping in because they were out so late for Prom.

But it's all okay. I get an early morning text from the college girl. I enjoy a coffee date with my eldest. And I hear (eventually) from the other two who wake up after noon, asking for food and not even realizing that their Mom is not at home.

In lieu of tacky jewelry and homemade gifts, I receive a lovely bag of goodies from Stella's market. They know their Mama... a hydrangea, a bottle of wine, a gorgeous tea towel, and a sweet treat, along with this card that makes me LOL.

I revel in who they are now. Two fiercely independent young women - one of whom is an entrepreneur and building her own business and another who just snagged her dream job in her dream city. And two ridiculously sweet, smart, empathetic and sloppy young men who respect their Mom and indulge her hugs and kisses when they'd really rather not.

It's a new phase of Mother's Day-ness. Will be interesting to see how things change in the coming years as more of the chicks leave the nest. XOX to my life's greatest accomplishments.

Dreaming of Daddy

I was in a happy place. Somewhere warm and balmy. With friends. It was a party. Maybe by a pool? A warm summer night. The stars were so clear. There was music and dancing and carousing. There were lights and lots of people. I was wearing a swimsuit with a swingy cover-up, flip-flops, carrying a beer and feeling so happy.

We were all walking along, somewhere, no idea where, and I turned and looked over my right shoulder. There he was. My Dad. Wearing his ubiquitous khakis, white walking shoes, "that stripey shirt," and his USS Guam hat. I was a bit surprised to see him - you know, since he's passed and all. He simply said "It feels so good to walk." Even in my dream, my heart was soaring. I felt such joy because Daddy hadn't walked on his own in probably 10 years.

He plodded along right next to me. I grabbed his hand. It was warm and as strong as ever. I always adored his hands. I traced his veins with my finger. I got the feeling that we had a longer conversation but all I recall him saying is "I don't know what I'd do without you, Beth. I couldn't live without you." To which I responded "I love you so, so much Daddy," and wrapped my arm through his and rested my head on his shoulder.

We walked along silently for a bit. He smelled good. He smelled like "healthy Dad." He felt good. He felt like "strong Dad." I felt peace. And then I woke up and thought, WTF was that?! I laughed a bit and then went back to sleep.

I've often heard of signs and dreams people receive/have after loved ones have passed. I have wondered if they are actual signs from beyond, or if we "encourage" ourselves to find or force them for our own comfort. Or to answer unanswered questions. Or tend to whatever we need. Or just pure and simple coincidence. At the end of the day, I guess it doesn't really matter. Cuz I got to walk and talk with my Daddy last night, on a warm summer night, hold his hand, and look at the stars. <3